Grief spares no one. Just when you think you are learning to ride the wave, the tide pulls you under faster than you can say “nevermind.”
Here are my top 5 things I know to be certain about grief:
1. You don’t know until you know.
As cliché as that sounds, it’s the damn truth. Until you’ve gone through something that shakes you to your core and flips everything upside down, you just won’t understand. That’s okay, by the way. It just makes it hard to relate.
2. People who used to be there for you will disappear.
So many said this to me early on, and I refused to believe them. Unfortunately, they were right. Not everyone will stick around to help you heal. That’s a hard truth to face, but it’s okay.
3. The person you used to be is also gone.
Who you were before exists only in your memories. The new version is all that remains. This will rock you in a way you’ve never experienced, but I can assure you, you are brave enough to embrace the new you.
4. Your story will be too much for some people.
Not everyone will be able to handle your new normal. Understand that it isn’t your responsibility to make others comfortable with your trauma. You don’t have to be the one to coach others through your pain. That’s on them.
5. Your life will be under the most powerful magnifying glass.
People will watch you out of human nature. They will wonder how you are coping, and you will be judged. You will hear and see and feel the judgments from each and every direction. Some days, it will be so palpable that you break down and scream cry.
But you won’t feel like it is.
All I can tell you is that you will find strength in places you never expected, and you will find love in people who never showed up before.
I can also tell you that there are equal amounts of beauty in this ugly, new world you live in. You just have to be okay with wearing a new set of glasses.