I just miss him.

It’s equally been the slowest and fastest 3 weeks of my life. Some hours speed by, and before I know it, another day has passed. Others seem to go at turtle pace, inching their way so painfully behind.

I miss him so much. So insanely much. So much so, that I truly struggle to think of anything else.

Luke was my everything, and he loved me an unreal amount. I’m so proud of the man he was and the changes he made to better his life. I never asked him to change anything…but he did. He did for me. He was so happy and so healthy. He looked his very best, and I was always so attracted to him.

I always loved when he would come home from work. He would open the garage door and immediately shout with pure joy, “Hi, my sweetheart!” I’d be busy cooking dinner and always smile and say “Welcome home, handsome man!” Then he would come up behind me and wrap his arms around my waist, spin me around, and kiss me ever so gently. He would ask what was for dinner, start stirring a pot or two, and then immediately ask me, “Can I pour you a glass of wine?” Most of the time, I’d say yes, and continue finishing dinner. He always made me laugh because he would take forever to pick out a bottle because he was never sure which ones were the expensive bottles meant for special occasions, and which were the weekday ones. As of recent, I’d just let him open anything. Everyday was a special occasion with Luke. He loved my cooking, and he always made a point to explain in great detail how delicious everything was. We’d share stories from the day at work, chat about upcoming events, and always be sure to sit for a few minutes and just be content with “full bellies and full hearts” (his famous words). He’d tell me to go relax with my wine and he would clean everything up. In true Luke fashion, that would start off great and then he would get distracted by something and never actually finish that process. I didn’t care…I’d pick up where he left off, giggling at how often this happened. Being his wife was my dream role. We were the greatest team, and I lived to make him feel loved and appreciated. I’d finish cleaning up and boxing any leftovers for our lunches the next day. He would usually say from the living room, “Awh, thanks sweetheart! I would’ve taken care of it!” I would just smile and say, “yes, eventually, I know,” and give him a wink. The rest of the evening was spent watching a regular show or a documentary series on Netflix. I’d fall asleep next to him by 9pm like the old lady I am, and he’d always gently wake me up by 11pm and help me to bed. We never said goodnight without saying, “I love you, I hope you have sweet dreams.” Every night. Every one.

That was our routine. It was beautiful, perfect, and I miss it. I miss him.

I love you, Luke…I hope you are having the sweetest dreams. I hope Heaven is the greatest place ever. ❤️